Emotion Running High

A friend was sharing with me his frustration when talking to his CEO (Chief Executive Officer). He claimed that the CEO did not have the ability in “strategic conversation.” My friend also believes that he was not recommended for the next promotion in his career because the CEO could not see the capability and potentiality in him.

He cited an example.

After making the research and preparation on a business issue, he was supposed to make 30 min. presentation. The CEO picked up one point and asked him for action, or decision in less than 5 min. My friend was most annoyed as he had yet to present the overall picture, necessary concepts and rationale. He said the boss was always so jumpy, reactive and seeking for action. And the CEO’s behavior continued throughout his presentation.

Interestingly during my coaching service to a client, something similar happened. The client was frustrated and angry with his spouse, for not listening to his entire story about an issue, and the wife reacted and “attacked” him several times in the middle of his talking.. The wife accused him for being insensitive to her points of views and that “the tone of his voice”, when replying her queries, was totally unacceptable.

Who is right, who is wrong? CEO or my friend? My client or his wife?

It is common to see such behavior in conversation, and either party feels impatient, frustrated and angry at each other. This is caused by different mode or preferred thinking inclination in “Small Chunk or Big Chuck”, “Small Picture or Big Picture”.

Some people prefer to see the whole picture before carrying out thinking process to act or make decision. Presenter would like to tell the whole story, listener would just take note first or seek for more information before reacting.

Others prefer to take small chunk of information, one at a time, and start processing or reacting. Presenter would like to reach conclusions with some evidence, listener would like to interrupt to seek resolution first.

In the business setting like the CEO and my friend, each can accuse the other in the name of the company mission and vision, using rationale and logic.

In the case of family relationship, like the husband and wife, emotion can run high, accusing each other for not listening attentively, or using the wrong tone of voice.

Again, who is right, who is wrong?

I suppose, “the boss is always right”. If my friend wants a promotion, it is wise to admit his boss is right. In the case of husband and wife, find out who is usually “the boss” of the house, who needs who more to achieve the intended goal.

What is your thinking orientation: small chunk size or large chuck size?

Andrew