A Frustrated Kung Fu Fighter

In a typical Kung-Fu movie, a well-trained martial art fellow descended from a high mountain to the world to rid all evils and save mankind. Armed with many years of physical and mental practice from the Shi Foo, and more importantly with high ideals and sense of justice, a hero was made of this fellow, when he conquered one by one the many devils on this earth.

In the real world, this fellow is utterly confused as he really cannot see clear distinction between angel and devil, nor is it so straightforward as to transform things to his ideals. Sometimes it is the people, whom he wants to help, do not want to help themselves. There is usually frustration, defeat or sense of helplessness or hopelessness felt.

I see many such examples.

A man with many years of experience in a progressive company becomes a new boss of another company, with many improvements to be desired. This new boss reminded again and again the high standards and good attributes of his old company, much to the irritation of the staff. This, in turn, frustrates the new boss.

The new boss, obviously, cannot and do not have the notion and skills to strategically “blend” with the existing culture or practice, and help them to move to another higher standard.

A new graduate armed with the high ideals of the theories and principles learned in the university campus, also “descended” upon this earth of employment, business or investment. And he or she is disappointed or shocked to see realities different from that conceived during the campus time.

Facing realities with new mental models and skills takes time and effort of many. Some make it, many get beaten by the systems, and give up.

In the family scenes, there are similar pattern of behavior.

With good intention, parents use neighbors’ children as the benchmarked reference points on their children, for example so and so is good in study and extra-curriculum activities, and start imposing such standards on their children.

Or, it can be the case of a growing up child into adulthood, having different standards and expectation from his parents. He or she also get frustrated with the new found awareness.

Some children run away from home or go astray or reject their parents. There are extreme cases of severe abuse by parents, but not in all cases.

Realities and Ideals or Expectations do not match. This creates conflicts and anxieties.

Ideals dislocated from realities are worthless. Realities without ideals get us stuck and sucked into dark ages.

High standards, expectation and ideals help shape a greater direction for a better world, maintaining a creative tension of the larger visions and realities, is a greater challenge to acquire.

To learn to bridge the realities and ideals (with necessary re-examination) can be a life long learning journey, for others, they can accelerate the learning curves by high awareness or being open to others’ view or seek help through reading, practicing or coaching. There are others who choose to bury their ideals.

Looking back, I was once this ideal fellow, learned to be a bit wiser as I faced the realities of life and moved my way forward until now. There are certainly still more learning to be experienced, in this world of complex realities.

The Kung Fu fighter needs not be frustrated or defeated..


End